Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize