I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
