He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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