There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
