It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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