What a fucking waste of an outfit
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
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She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
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just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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