remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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