do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
