Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
