I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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