is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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