I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
