i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
