Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
