just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Two words: nipple clamps
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