and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
