I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
