i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
