I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
