Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
