Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
