I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
