Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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