I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
