I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
