Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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