there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
