Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
