I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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