dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Randomize
