I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize