your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
