So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
