So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
