I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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