If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
