I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
