there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
