I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
