Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
