I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
