Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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