also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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