But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
