after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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