you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
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One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
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I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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