haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
