sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
