To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sorry about my life...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
