O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
