Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
