I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
