you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We're too hungover to prance.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
