I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
