omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
