I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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