What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
