Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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