Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize